THE NIGHT OF THE BIG BLACKMAIL
|
|
[Artie] I was hoping that you would bring it to me. |
|
|
[Jim] Artie, when are you going to get rid of that cat? [Artie] Listen, he stowed aboard in Denver, I’m going to see to it that he gets home. |
|
|
[Jim] That ought to lend a certain interest to the proceedings, sir. |
|
|
[Artie] Because when you say ‘supervisors’ your nose crinkles up in the most adorable way, did you know that? |
|
[Artie] Well Sir, he said something about wanting to show the Big Dipper to the daughter of the Lithuanian Ambassador. |
|
|
[Artie] I could have sworn she was Lithuanian. |
|
|
[Artie] Did it ever occur to you that red might mean danger? |
|
|
[Artie] For instance, red for fire, fire of explosion? [Jim] What would they want to explode? [Artie] People who fool around with their levers. |
|
|
[Artie] Well three cheers for the research department! |
|
|
[Artie] Well they’re expecting a show … I see no reason to disappoint them. |
|
|
[Artie] It was just a thought … [Jim] I’m glad it was just a thought, Artie. |
|
|
[Jim] It’s nice to see you bearing up so well, Artie. |
|
|
[Artie] Oh, you know me, James. I was never one to believe in pampering myself in any way. |
|
|
[Artie] You know, I think it would work much better if you held me real tight. Oh yes, that’s much better… |
|
|
[Artie] I worked out the formula for this while lying on my bed of pain. |
|
|
[Jim] Alright, Artie, where are they? |
|
|
[Jim] The last time I saw you, you looked as if you’d never walk again without the help of those nurses. |
|
|
[Artie] Oh, jest if you will, James my boy. Only my grit, my pluck and my iron determination enabled me to be up and about … and I haven’t been wasting my time. |
|
|
[Artie] Stand back, James my boy. I don’t want anyone hurt in the process. |
|
|
[Artie] Alright, hold tight and keep your fingers crossed! |
|
|
[Artie] You alright, friend? Your jaw’s hanging kind of low. |
|
|
[Artie] You are the salt of the earth. A gentleman and a scholar. |
|
|
[Artie] And to this great country of ours … and the men who make sacrifices on her behalf. |
|
|
[Jim] We’re not getting anything accomplished this way. [Artie] I’m waiting… |
|
|
[Artie] Actually, it was kind of fun in a way, wasn’t it? |
|
|
[Artie]
You get more absent minded every day. Look what you forgot back there at the
saloon. |
|
|
[Artie]
Jim, can I … |
|
|
[Artie]
Once you get a hold of it that’s the last I see of it. |
|
|
[Jim]
Artie, you know, that’s what I like about working with you. You’re always
thinking about our future. |
|
|
[Artie] Would you deny a condemned man one last small pleasure? |
|
|
[Artie] It has to be the handiwork of some handmaiden of Satan’s. |
|
|
[Artie] I say, as shepherd of the flock, I should go out and join in the search for a lost sheep! |
|
|
[Artie] Oh, that’s fine. Fine. |
|
|
[Jim]
I want to welcome you to Epitaph. |
|
|
[Jim] Artie, it’s not like you to withhold evidence! |
THE NIGHT OF THE AVARICIOUS ACTUARY
|
|
Artie relates the tale of the Lady from Niger who smiled as she road on a tiger…. |
|
|
[Jim]
I liked it better the other way, Artie. |
|
|
[Taney]
… The devil! |
|
|
[Artie] While you’re doing that I’ll rub shoulders with the wealthy set. |
|
|
[Artie] I quit! I’m a none to work in no hash house! |
|
|
[Artie] Well, now that we’ve had the grand tour, shall we get started? I’ve got a table waiting for dinner. |
|
|
[Jim] Someone just invited us to dinner, pal. |
|
|
[Artie] Who’d want to be stuck in this isolated place? |
|
|
[Artie] Anybody home? |
|
|
[Artie] Looks like we were expected. |
|
|
[Artie] I’m afraid I do. |
|
|
[Jim] Did I hear Big Mouth correctly? [Artie] Yup. They’re going to hang you and take me with them. No hard feelings, Jim. [Jim] I resent that. |
|
|
[Jim] You heard the man, Artie. He said drop it. [Artie] Guess I’d better. |
|
|
[Jim] What do you think they have planned for you, Artie? [Artie] I don’t want to wait and find out. |
|
|
[Jim] Artie, why do you suppose they wanted to kill me and capture you? [Artie] Maybe I’m more valuable, that’s all. |
|
|
[Jim] Let’s quit playing with them, huh Artie? |
|
|
[Artie] Sorry amigo. |
|
|
[Artie] Now that doesn’t do me justice. |
|
|
[Artie] Could you make an exception? |
|
|
[Artie] What are we doing alone on a night like this? A night like this was made for female companionship. |
|
|
[Jim] Artie! Where the devil’ve you been? |
|
|
[Artie] ‘Thanks Artie?’ Is that all you can say to me? I’ve just come back
from the grave, risen like Lazarus, and that’s what you say? ‘Thanks Artie?’ [Jim] Thanks Artie. [Artie] It’s a pleasure. |
Wild Wild West Sound Page | Season One
| Season Two
| Season Three |
Ross Martin/Other | Robert Conrad/Other
| Michael Dunn/Other
Dedicated with heartfelt appreciation to the memory of ROSS MARTIN.
Many thanks to ThirdSide for generously hosting
this page.
Page design and sound/screen captures by Cal
Lynn. No rights given or implied.
Page last modified November 7, 1999.
Page design ©1999 C.G.Lynn, ThirdSide.com/WildWildWest.org