("Plato's Stepchildren")

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Stardate 5784.0.  In one of his most moving portrayals, Michael Dunn plays Alexander, "everybody's slave" on a planet of telekinetic beings.


Are you from the spaceship Enterprise?


Alexander, at your service.


I sing, I dance, I play all variety of games, and Iím a good loser. A very good loser! Please try to bear that in mind.
Now, would you please accompany me?
Our leader liked Platoís ideas. Plato Ö Platonians. See?
In fact, our present philosopher king, Parman, sometimes calls us Platoís children Ö although we sometimes think of ourselves as Platoís stepchildren.
Excuse me. Someoneís waiting for you.
They say Iím a throwback Ö and I am, and so are you.
Sorry. I shouldnít have said that.
What do you mean, "like me"? 
I thought you were talking about my size, because they make fun of me for my size.
They were treating you the same way they treat me Ö just like me! Only you fight them!
Listen, where you come from, are there a lot of people without the power, and my size?
Iím ashamed to be a Platonian. Ashamed!
I was brought here as the court buffoon. Thatís why Iím everybodyís slave and I have to be 10 places at once and I never do anything right.
All the time I thought it was me Ö my mind that couldnít move a pebble. They even told me I was lucky they even bothered to keep me around at all, and I believed them!
I never knew people like you existed.
Alexander singsÖ
Oh, you mean, the same thing that kept me from having the power made me a Ö dwarf.
All I ask is one thing. If you do make it out of here, take me with you. Just drop me any place where they never heard of kyranyde or Platonius. 
I could have had your power, but I didnít want it.
I could have had your place right now, but the sight of you and your academicians sickens me.
Despite your brains youíre the most contemptible things that ever lived in this universe.
The arms and legs of everybodyís whim. Look down. Donít meet their eyes. Smile Ö Smile!
They were gods to me.
How could I forget that? It was exactly six months and 14 days after we got here that they started pushing me around.
Itís not me; itís not my size. Itís them! Itís them, itís them! 
Donít save them; let them die. At least let me give them a taste of what they gave me. Please, theyíre going to kill you anyhow Ė you know that!
Thatís the first time anybody ever thought of my life before his own.
I should have told you when you first came there that they were going to kill you because I knew that, but I was afraid. I was afraid Ö 
Anything I can do to help, you just tell me. 
Oh no! Not after what theyíve done to ME!
Do you think thatís what I want? Become one of them? Become my own enemy? Just lie around like a big blob of nothing and have things done for me?
I want to move around for myself! If Iím going to laugh or cry I want to do it for myself! You can keep your precious power!
Not that Iím afraid or anything, but will it hurt much?

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Film adaptation of Katherine Anne Porter's novel about a ship bound for pre-WWII Germany.  In an Academy Award nominated performance, Michael Dunn plays Karl Glocken, arguably the least "foolish" passenger aboard...


[Glocken] My name is Carl Glocken and this is a ship of fools.


[Glocken] Iím a fool Ö youíll meet more fools as we go along. This tub is packed with them.


[Glocken] And who knows? If you look closely enough, you might even find yourself on board.


[Levanthal] I beg your pardon. You arenít Jewish, are you?
[Glocken] No. I have my own minority group.


[Glocken] I donít mind not being seen at the Captainís table, perhaps because I was never invited in the first place.


[Glocken] Perhaps they thought we might hit it off. 


[Glocken] Thatís the way it is. People are always mistaking me for someone else.


[Levanthal] You are sure you arenít Jewish?
[Glocken] Reasonably sure.


[Glocken] Beg your pardon?


[Glocken] I think youíre being a bit harsh on yourself.


[Levanthal] When you hear that music wherever you are, donít you have a special feeling about being a German?
[Glocken] I tell you Levanthal, now honestly, when I hear that music wherever I am I have a special feeling about being a dwarf.


[Glocken] You may be the biggest fool on this whole boat!


[Glocken] Where have you been during this voyage?!


[Glocken] Levanthal you are blind! Absolutely blind! You canít see whatís going on in front of your own face!
[Levanthal] What do you mean? You mean this business about the Jews? You donít understand us! The German Jew is something special. We are Germans first, and Jews secondÖ


[Glocken] You are German, arenít you? You are the most German person I have ever met!


[Glocken] I find the most amusing things about people are the guilts that the drum up for themselves. 


[Glocken] Oh, I can just hear you saying, "What has all this to do with us?"ÖNothing.

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Tongue-in-cheek telefilm about down-and-out detective Frank Hogan (Richard Boone) and his diminutive partner Arthur Boyle (Michael Dunn) trying to solve a missing persons case in 1946 Los Angeles.  This film also featured "Wild Wild West" veteran Victor Buono.


[Arthur] You know, youíre 0 for 2 against that guy.


[Arthur] I just spoke to a member of our accounting staff and he assured me that a check has been mailed to you only a matter of a few days ago Ö the postal service is becoming just deplorable Ö


[Arthur] Sir, are you impugning my credibility? 


[Arthur] Well then, sir, Iím afraid our firm shall just have to take its custom elsewhere Ö thank you Ö 


[Arthur] What would you suggest as an alternative? 


[Arthur] Mr. Lee got a little bit nasty last time. Wouldnít even send over any of his noodles Ö


[Arthur] As financial risks we rate something below the Rockefellers every place from here to San Diego.


[Arthur] Wonder how long it would take to drive from here to San Diego? 


[Arthur] Now who do we owe?
[Francis] Open the door and find out.


[Arthur] Francis, didnít anyone ever tell you about a gift horse? That you should never look one in the mouth?
[Francis] I wasnít lookiní at her mouth.


[Arthur] Besides, when someone bops you on the head with a gun youíre supposed to fall down unconscious.


[Arthur] Did you get a look at the guy?
[Francis] Only his fist.


[Arthur] Francis, this is important. 


[Arthur] Maybe next time youíll fall down unconscious like youíre supposed to.


[Arthur] Well what do you want me to do? Punch him in the knee? 


[Arthur] Did you ever get the feeling that we donít know everything weíre supposed to know?


[Francis] And a $50 penalty if I get bopped again.
[Arthur] $50 for each bop! 


[Arthur] Think it could have been our sweet client?
[Francis] I donít think it was Veronica Lake. 


[Arthur] Iíve got a feeling weíre in over our heads. 


[Arthur] Oh Francis, I think Iím gonna be illÖ 


[Arthur] I think weíre being followed. 


[Arthur] Francis, sheís crying again. 


[Arthur] That reminds me. What do you want for dinner?


[Francis] Now take it easy! Remember what happened the last time!
[Arthur] That wasnít my fault! A minor miscalculation. Besides, it was a dumb place to put a tree.


[Clerk] Where did you come from?
[Arthur] Jackson Heights.


[Arthur] Francis, I donít like this man.


[Arthur] Oh yeah, our boy really does like the horses. I wonder if he was any good.


[Arthur] Francis, wake up. Look whoís here.


[Arthur] Francis and I have our funds sort of tied up at the moment. 


[Arthur] Uh, gentlemen, Francis and I are here for professional reasons.


[Arthur] Well gentlemen, as usual you have been very helpful.


[Arthur] Yo ho, FrancisÖ


[Arthur] I really like westerns!


[Arthur] This is the one where the guy who owns the bank is selling guns to the Indians, but the guns are no good Ö so that really gets the Indians MAD Ö 

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This page is dedicated to the memory and many talents of MICHAEL DUNN.

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Page design and sound/screen captures by Cal Lynn.  No rights given or implied.

Page last modified December 12, 1999.
Page design ©1999 C.G.Lynn, ThirdSide.com/WildWildWest.org